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1. What is one piece of advice you would give to someone heading to college for the first time?

Get involved, clubs, student activities, intramurals, just be involved!

You will not have it all figured out by the end of your first semester or even the first year. Allow yourself to evolve and remember that there is no finish line to becoming YOU. There is no "right" way to do college. Take opportunities and learn from failures or misses. You'll find your way if you keep an open and flexible mind.

It is okay if you have a plan or an idea of what you are going to experience, but if you do not that is okay too! Be open and flexible to change to make the most of your college experience. Try something new, say hello to your peers, and find ways to intersect your academic and personal passions. College can be an amazing experience if you take advantage of all the resources, programs, courses, and connections as you take ownership of your journey.

Leave your dorm room door open the first few weeks while you are in your room and say hi to everyone that walks by. You never know who you may meet!

You never truly know how saying yes to an experience can transform your whole life!

Trust the process. College is not a cookie-cutter place for experiences, meaning no two individuals are going to experience the same things at the same time. So long as you go into the experience with a little trust, a lot of patience, and a very open mind and heart you will begin to see just how truly amazing the experience is (good, bad or indifferent).

Be sure to tip your Campus Activities Professionals. We are very easily bought and/or bribed (just kidding). The piece of advice I've found that most people appreciate is sharing with them that the investment of their time is compound. Early friendships may feel hollow (especially compared to those you're comparing with ones you've spent 12 years building). Your first club meeting, attending office hours or really any of your other "firsts" will progressively get more comfortable. Time invested in individual activities - going for a walk, going to a meal by yourself - might be the best investment you can make. 

Get to know campus resources and go to everything. Colleges and universities provide so much to students that go unnoticed or underutilized. People like us have jobs simply to help students through their journeys, but we can't seek every student out individually.

Learn what your institution offers and then use those resources. You never know what you might need or who could help you along the way. Likewise, there may be more going on at your school than you realize! Find out how to find out about events & go to as many as you can! Don't write something off as uninteresting. Go to things and learn what you like, what you don't like, and get connected along the way. College changes a lot when you feel tied to the institution and your fellow students. Creating bonds that last a lifetime over that one psychic event, football game, or even an event that was no FUN at all can stay with you forever. 

Be brave. Though each and every new day is an opportunity to reinvent yourself, this is a clear and defining moment for you. You feel nervous because you are about to embark on something new and important, but I urge you to be as brave as possible and try new things!    

Be open to new experiences and getting involved in at least one club or organization to start on your campus.

Make a friend in each class; you and that friend should visit the faculty member during office hours.

Push yourself out of your comfort zone. College is a time to try new things, be it experiences, friendships, food, travel, etc. Sign up for a club, attend an event even if you’re going alone, take a class you’re unfamiliar with, it’s all going to help you find out more about who you are and who you want to be.

Now is the time to try new things! Don’t be afraid to try something new once or even three times, and it’s okay to try something new in November. Students are going to welcome you into their organization at any time, and they were once in your shoes! Don’t be afraid to ask if you have a question! Staff and student leaders are here to help!

Go to the club/org fair and interact with at least three different student groups: one you’re genuine interested (whether it’s a skill you already have or a skill you’re looking to create/develop), one you’ve never heard of (this could be a new sport or area of interest), and one that doesn’t have a line where you can go and directly talk to someone about their club/org. After the club/org fair, attend at least one general meeting from one of the groups you just learned about.

Definitely ask for help when you need it, put yourself out there by attending events and activities to make friends and acquaintances across campus.

Focus on more than just your academics. The experience of college is life changing. Remember to enjoy it! 

2. What is one piece of advice you would give to a parent sending a student off to college in the Fall of 2024? This can be valuable whether it is your first child or your fifth.

Let them make mistakes, teachable moments, one of the best ways to learn is to fail.

When your student complains, try to uncover what the root cause is. Is it something they can tackle if they have the right tool, and you might be able to suggest or prompt action for them to take (versus you saving the day)? Just because they are in college does not mean they are experts at executive functioning. Consider affirmative and probing prompts like: 'That sounds difficult. Do you know where to go to find the answer? Who do you think can help you? At the same time, prompt joy. Remember to ask them what went well, and something they enjoyed this week. When times are tough (midterms, finals, cold, dark, New England winters), they might need your support to find the positive and the light.

Attending college is a transformational experience. Parents or guardians can partner in this work by helping students build self-advocacy skills. When your student comes to you with a problem, engage your student in identifying the best path forward by encouraging them to explore resources and identify the solution. Ask them what they think or what resources they have looked at to date? These practices help build self-advocacy and critical thinking that will support their experiences inside, outside, and beyond the classroom.

Remember that you gave your child wings so they could fly. Let them fly, you have prepared them their whole lives for this moment. Let them shine!

This is as much of a transition for you as it is for them. Model the way and take care of yourself through this transition so your student knows how to!

Let…Them…Go…. This is their time to stumble, fall and pick themselves back up again and learn how to be resilient because the world isn’t just going to hand them everything they want simply because they want it.   Be there to listen, be an advocate (not a helicopter), and help guide them on how to problem solve or encourage them to take a risk and try something new. This is the only time they’ll have to try something, fail, and have some sense of a safety net before going out into the real world. 

As parents, you have been a sense of support for your kids. They will call you (maybe it's not said directly to you) when they need support. Often, what they share with you are their extremes. There's a big possibility they hang up and feel better venting to someone they trust. All feelings can be accepted, but not all behaviors are accepted. Your student feeling isolated and overwhelmed are important feelings to recognize. As a parent you will likely feel stressed, anxious, nervous, and overwhelmed, which are also very real. "Solving" your feelings will not "solve" their feelings. 

Let them fail. Maybe not fail in the sense that they fail their classes and lose the opportunity to attend their college or university but allow them to fail enough to learn. Sure, you may have to guide them, prompt them, or even direct them through these first steps into adulthood, but if we do it all for them, they will never obtain the tools to do it on their own. Learn important dates and resources for your student and check-in that they've completed what needs to be done to be successful. Teach them skills like time management & how to craft an email, but trust that you've already given them everything they need to step into this new stage of life. You've raised them well.

Parents - this is your time to lean away, and for our time to lean IN! Trust that whatever college or university your student is attending, there are wholehearted people on campus who will love and care for your student. They will make mistakes - everyone does! But this is their opportunity to learn and grow, and we will be there to catch there and guide them during this time in their life. 

Give your student the grace to try and fail. They will not do well with something and will need support to navigate this time. Alongside this, when you speak with your student do not only ask about positive things and what is going well, but also ask "what went wrong this past week?"  It is important to acknowledge the areas we hit a bump in the road or when we struggle. This will help with future moments of stress or failure.

Let your student navigate challenges; be the guide on the side but resist the urge to call on their behalf (or post on the family Facebook page)

Encourage them to make use of everything the campus can offer. Many times, I have students in their junior/senior years telling me, “I didn’t know we had this club/resource/space/program; I wish I knew about it sooner!” I guarantee the student was given the info sometime their first year, but we realize they take in a lot of info!

Check in on them but let them grow and work out problems for themselves too.

Remember that this is as new of an experience for you as it is for your student. One of the best things you can do is support them and encourage them to get involved on campus!

Help your student when they need it and don’t do everything for them. One of my cousins is sending her oldest to college this fall, and my aunt was telling her SHE should be calling the different offices for her student. I told her that she’s doing the right thing by offering to help find the information but making HIM call and contact the offices is only helping his problem solving and communication skills.

Schedule a regular and predictable check-in with your student and stick to it. Be it a Tuesday night, a Sunday during dinner, during your favorite show to watch together on facetime or whatever works for you both. This allows you to learn about what is happening with them, but also gives them the space to really dive into life at college and all the learning that will be available to them. This was one of the things my mother insisted on when I went to college many moons ago, but it was something that has always stuck with me.

This can be valuable whether it is your first child or your fifth. - As a parent/guardian, be there to support your student, but don't do everything for them, they have to learn to advocate for themselves and start being an adult.  If they call home because they are homesick, encourage them to get out of their room and attend events and activities so that they aren't bored/lonely.  Try not to let them come home right away, they need to learn to be independent and find their own way.  Let them come to you, don't always be the first to call/text.

3. What is one thing that every student should bring with them if they are living on campus?

Besides an open mind, not sure as we don’t have on campus housing.

Pocket-sized packs of tissues!!!  You will be out and about more and should have some general needs with you in your backpack that might have been naturally in your home or classroom.  Umbrellas, a real raincoat, rain boots.... think about things that will make yourself comfortable in this new environment. (If cold New England- wool socks!!)

Every student on campus should bring a first aid kit! Band-Aids, thermometers, and basic cold aids can be helpful if you need something when health services might be closed.

Shower shoes and surge protectors.

Students need to bring snacks. Everything is better with a snack.

Something that grounds them back to a place of comfort, calmness, and reset. If it’s a picture of their dog, a blanket that smells like home, or a childhood stuffed animal, let that one piece of home bring them back to the ground when they’re flying out of control.  It helps them move forward bit by bit, without it being a crutch.

If you can swing it, noise canceling headphones. Being able to focus (even if you're just watching a TV show) is great. 

A journal. When you're sharing a space, it can be hard to find space to be alone with your own thoughts. Sometimes a Try new things and things that are outside of your academic pursuit.

Take a guitar course, sign up for a trip, do volunteer work, stop by the student union, and join a club, go to one of the many events and activities on campus. You are paying for the entire experience on campus so take advantage of everything the campus has to offer.

journal can be that non-physical space. Being in college, it can seem like a lot is happening all at once. Taking the time to write your thoughts or feelings- even if they are just fragments of those ideas, can be a great way to make everything feel a little clearer. 

A fan! It sounds silly, but the first few weeks (depending on location) can be very hot. If your student is attending a university with older buildings, they might not have AC, and the fan can be a life saver. 

Snacks that they can share with others on the floor. This can be a great icebreaker and allow for some conversation if you can offer a snack to someone else.

A mattress pad, they have gotten so much nicer than the old “egg crate” mattress toppers. Good sleep is important!

Good question! I feel like #4 this could vary per student – I would probably say decorations or a fan if there is no AC.

Games whether it’s your favorite board or video game. If it’s a video game and it’s feasible, bring enough controllers to invite new people to play with you. If it’s a board game, there’s a chance someone you meet has never played it and it’s a fun opportunity to introduce something you like to someone new.

Something familiar – whether a favorite blanket, photos, etc. Making their space feel like theirs and creating a visually aesthetic space can be helpful!

A cushion for their desk chair and a memory foam cover for the mattress. Many of the things that they are going to need you are already thinking about: Technology, charging cables, things for the wall, etc., but that campus furniture is built to last and not necessarily for comfort, so these two relatively small things can really help for the number of hours they will spend in those 2 pieces of furniture.

There are so many things, but definitely a Fan if they don't live in an air conditioned hall.  Other important items are a mattress pad, desk lamp, drawers/bins to store items and surge protectors (most rooms only have 2 outlets).

Noise-canceling headphones! 

4. Granted every student is different but is there something that you can recommend to help them feel more comfortable in this new environment?

Lots of help is available, but sometimes it takes you reaching out. It’s ok to not be ok! Ask for help!

Bring a piece of home with you. Something to help ground you and remember you are not reinventing yourself but growing. Whether a photo, a pillow, or something for your shelf, something that reminds you of what you find important can prompt some positive feelings when you need them.

Remember that every student is going through the same process of transitioning to a new environment. Lean into the potential discomfort of saying hello to a stranger, you might find they are thinking and feeling the same apprehension. Your courage could lead to new connections and opportunities. The more you do this, the easier it will feel moving forward.

Remember to always be yourself! Authenticity goes a long way to finding your people.

There are people who are at the university your student is attending that will care for them, fiercely. It will never compare to the love that you have provided, but it will be impactful, life changing, and real. Your student will be loved fiercely.

College is 100% what you make of it, so the best piece of advice to feel comfortable is to embrace the feeling of apprehension, know that they are not the only ones feeling anxious or homesick, and lean on each other to make their new home actually their new home. It is going to be an amazing ride!

Know what environment helps bring you back to your equilibrium. It might be having a clean space, rewatching your favorite TV show, or comfort food. Something that is more than a simple reminder of a positive space time or place, to get you out of an inevitable funk.

Find one peer mentor. Knowing just one student (an RA, an OL, a club leader, etc.) can really bring a sense of safety to a student in their new environment. They were new once and scared, just like most students. Leaning on students in leadership roles allows peers to guide peers & experience campus with a little extra support.

Attend all the new programming, especially the first month of classes. Go to all the clubs and organizations that you are interested in. I call it "window shopping". See what you like, don't like - just meet new people! You will build a community very quickly that way. 

Something that provides them with a sense of safety/comfort. A stuffed animal, a book, a piece of sporting equipment, etc. It will be important to have something tangible to hold onto when they are feeling homesick, down about something, or just need a reminder of when they felt secure in any moment of life.

Everyone is in the same boat during the first week; put yourself out there, go to events and dinner with your roommate/floor mates. Heading off to college is like the movie Inside Out:  Riley taught us all that a change in our environments and routines can be difficult but not impossible to overcome.  Inside Out teaches us that it’s okay to feel emotions and after a while what was a change becomes everyday life with the support of others.

So many students are looking to find their new community/social group/friendships coming to college, and colleges spend a lot of time setting up low-stakes ways for students to meet one another. Take that first step, no matter what that is (club event, office open house, RA program, etc.) and you will be happy you did. Don’t feel like you have to figure it all out at once, either. First year you and senior year you will be very different people, and that’s a good thing!

Slightly get out of your comfort zone and attend an on-campus event and be present in the moment. You’ll soon meet others with similar interests and may find yourself attending different events with the same group of people!

Find your people on campus - Go to the involvement fair and go to the places that make you feel at home. If you get anxious about finding new places, spend some time BEFORE the first day of class to figure out where you are going. 

If you are living on campus, try to make your space your own (your side of the room).  Also use the resources on campus - whether it's the tutoring center, a coach, an advisor or even the counseling center.  Going to college is a huge transition and not everyone handles it the same way.  It's also the first time many are away from home, sharing a room and/or sharing a bathroom.  These can be challenging things, but definitely not something that can't be overcome.  Making friends is going to be the best way to become more comfortable in your new environment - you can share your story and they can share theirs....a shared experience can bond people.  Join a club or a team - it's a great way to make some instant friends.  You can also befriend others in your classes.  If you are a commuter student, make the time to be on campus for events and activities - this will make all the difference!

GET INVOLVED! It's how you will find your people.