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Remember You are Managing People!

July 17th, 2023 by Kenneth Abrahams

For years, I have struggled with managing people. It is something that I was, or to some degree still am, not comfortable with. For much of the first 20 years FUN was in business, my management style was to carry a 2x4 and I wasn’t afraid to use it. At best, one might call it the Neanderthal style of leadership. For context, it was a role that I was thrust into at an early age and my youth and immaturity were a huge detriment. Like many people, the way that I viewed myself was different than the way others viewed me. It took bringing in an outside coach to help me see the error of my ways. Instead of creating a culture of caring and respect, it was one based far more on fear. Not the type of legacy we, or at least I, want to leave behind.

Perhaps because of my deficiencies in this arena, management is something that I have studied a lot over the years. There is no shortage of “experts” out there. Everyone has their own theory on how it should be done. What techniques one should use and even the language that is needed to be successful. Over time, I have boiled the whole management piece into putting people in two basic categories. Silo 1 is people in the scarcity camp. They believe that if they help others achieve success, those individuals may take their jobs or surpass them. Camp 2 is the group that believes in the theory of plenty. If they coach others to be good at what they do, then it reflects well on them, and the organization becomes more successful, and everyone wins. As a friend of mine is well known for the saying “a rising tide lifts all boats.”

Author Patrick Lencioni has written several business books including ‘The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team’ and ‘The 5 Temptations of a CEO,’ both of which I have read and learned a great deal from. In those books, he creates fictitious companies to explain his point. For me, real world examples are always better. Here are 2 distinct examples of very different management styles. As they used to say on Dragnet, the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Phil is young but hardworking. He has been working at the company for a little over 2 years. During that time, he has risen through the ranks and become one of the leading salespeople in his office. Phil started out working as a trainee under Larry. He learned a lot from Larry and due to his exemplary performance, he was given a lot of responsibility. When it was time to work on his own accounts, Phil continued to thrive and built a nice book of business. Along with managing his own accounts, he helped train new staff as they came on board. He would show up early or stay late if people needed his help. His goal has always been to make the office one of the best, highest grossing in the company. Over time, there were some changes in the office and Larry took over as the branch manager. As Phil became more successful, Larry became less supportive and the dynamic between them changed. No matter what Phil did, Larry was never happy. It has gotten to the point where Phil wants to stay in the company but move to another branch.

April works in the hospitality industry. Like Phil, she is young, but she is already a manager. She works long hours and supervises a number of people. Recently on her day off, someone didn’t show up for their shift. April’s first reaction was one of concern for the staff member. While others would have been angry that they were being disturbed on their day off, April wanted to make sure that her staff member was okay. After a series of texts and calls the missing employee was located. When she spoke to the staff member her first words were to reassure him that everything was okay, he wasn’t in trouble and that it was not a big deal. He had been having trouble sleeping and when he finally did fall asleep, he slept through his alarms. This was atypical for this staff member, he had always been dependable, and April knew that this was not the norm for them. She managed this situation far better than many people twice her age with far more experience would have. First and foremost, she cared about her staff person and dealt with the underlying cause of the problem, instead of focusing on the resulting actions. Those are skills that can’t easily be taught.

We can learn a lot from these two scenarios. In the first situation, a driven, hardworking true team member is not being supported and encouraged. If anything, they are being disincentivized to continue to produce or even want to stay in the office they are currently working in. April, on the other hand, treats people with kindness and respect in order to build a team. It is hard to believe that the way she handled the situation with the employee that overslept is unique to her management style. It is impossible to fake that kind of sincerity. Watching her and seeing a management skill set and style that is almost impossible to teach was very impressive.

As a manager, I am still learning and growing. Several years ago, a friend had me listen to a webinar by Brene Brown. Her advice on leading with vulnerability makes so much sense. That was in many respects a game changer for me. People that you work with or manage don’t expect you to have all the answers, but they do expect you to listen and treat them respectfully.

My sons both now manage people, and it is interesting to talk to them about the challenges we all face. All three of us handle things differently. Some of those differences are due to age, the situations, or are simply because we are different people with different methods and styles. There is no one right way.

Many years ago, my wife felt as if I was working too hard and too many hours. She suggested I hire more people and my response was “when you hire more people, you hire more problems.” There is some truth to that, but it is the wrong way to look at it. We all need to remember we are, in fact, not managing problems, we are managing people. For better or for worse, people make mistakes or find themselves in situations that they can’t handle. As managers we need to help them navigate those situations and support them as best as we can. As managers we make mistakes too and we need to remember that when dealing with others.

About the author

Ken Abrahams is the proud father of two exceptional young men, Harry and Sam. Harry turns 31 in August and Sam just turned 26. Ken is also co- owner of FUN Enterprises, Inc. and several years ago got rid of his management 2x4.

To find out more about the company go to our website www.funent.com you can also go to this link to sign up for our newsletter which comes out about 6 times a year    https://funent.com/subscribe-to-the-funny-pages/.  Our newsletter will tell you more about the company and the products and services we offer as well as some games, things to do, and the occasional cooking tip.