Blog

« Back

Welcome to the Graveyard

October 11th, 2022 by Kenneth Abrahams

October is the month of ghost, goblins, scary movies, costumes, trick or treating, fun lawn decorations, and so much more. It is the month that the City of Salem Massachusetts, which has a population of just over 45,000, will welcome more than a half million curious visitors. For more than a few, Halloween is their favorite holiday. As much as I would like to talk about Halloween, Salem, MA, and other frightening topics, we are here to talk about a graveyard, and not just any graveyard, but the FUN Enterprises program burial grounds.

Years ago, while perusing the internet I came across the Ben and Jerry’s Graveyard page. It was a page dedicated to the flavors that the iconic ice cream company laid to rest. Gone are some fantastic names and interesting flavors like Schweddy Balls, Wavy Gravy, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Tuskeegee Chunk, and Holy Cannoli from the freezer sections of your local stores. Many of these flavors are still etched in the hearts and minds of true Ben and Jerry Fans.

It made me think about some of the programs that we, too, have laid to rest over the years. We have had many programs that we’ve dug a hole, said a few quick words, and shoved into the ground with no regrets. Others are little more nostalgic. Now mind you, the hole digging thing is metaphorically speaking; no need to alert the EPA that we have illegally dumped electronics or toxic waste into a landfill somewhere. They are programs we simply don’t offer anymore. Some because we struggled to get supplies, others because technology has evolved and there are now better options available to us, and a few that people just lost interest in. Recently, we discussed this idea at a staff meeting and there were concerns raised that a few of the people reading this may clamor to bring back some or all of these “treasures.”  I assure you that will not happen. In no particular order, I give you a partial list of the programs we have bid a fond farewell to.

The Amazing Button Factory – One of the very first programs we offered. In the early days, this program was done using photos from thermal printers. If you have ever seen an ultrasound picture or a quarterback looking at a flimsy picture on an NFL sideline, those are done on a thermal printer. When it debuted, it was cutting edge technology. Over time, the company that made the button parts added mirrors, key chains, and magnet options. We had clients that proudly displayed these buttons or magnets on cork boards or their refrigerators. Unfortunately, the picture quality wasn’t great and the machines that made them were crankier than I am.

Famous Faces – These were also one of our original programs and used the same technology as the buttons. People would pose with life size cutouts of famous people. Our original collection included Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, and Humphrey Bogart. Over time, we added several US Presidents, musicians, actors, and many more. Our office was littered with these huge cutouts. When the digital age hit, it was easier to do a similar program with a green screen and the photo quality was much improved.

Carnival Photos – Originally these were large painted pieces of plywood that you stood behind and just put your heads over the top where the necks were painted. We had three clowns in a car and several other circus themed options. Eventually, we switched to cloth and dramatically expanded the number of available motifs offered but this program presented a wide range of challenges in terms of technology and diversity. They were almost impossible to do outside, and it was difficult to paint them and make them easy to use with a wide range of skin tones. We realized a many years ago it was time to simply bury these in a deep hole.

Photo Flip Flops – While looking for some new programs to do, we stumbled across dye sublimation flip flops. Yep, we could put your photo on a real flip flop. What could be better than that? Trust me when I tell you, many things can be better than that. First off, they were very expensive to produce, and you had to buy them in bulk, like 10,000 at a time. We had one full wall of our storage area packed with boxes of these suckers. Often, the material with the photo on it would peel off the Flip Flop. They were incredibly difficult to put together and the environmental impact was significant. Each pair of flip flops used an entire sheet of rubber coated, dye sublimation material. After you pressed the photo, especially the smaller sizes, you threw away about the same amount of material as you used. After the initial purchase we made was used up, we decided to bury this one in a shallow, unmarked grave.

Cell Phone Cases – You could get these with either your photo or your name on it. Early on, it was a program that we loved, but we quickly realized that we couldn’t keep up with the ever-changing phone models that Apple, Samsung, Nokia, and even Google were putting out. It didn’t take us long to dig a hole for this one.

Personalized CD Cases – CD or Jewel cases were popular for years. We figured out that we could make some pretty cool designs that people could use to truly personalize these cases. Originally, it was a lot of fun to do but as more people moved to iPods, MP3 players, and streaming services, CD cases became obsolete. For some, getting rid of this one was music to their ears.

Bumper Stickers – At one time or another we have all said “Oh, that should be on a bumper sticker.” We were able to quickly create these personalized, one-of-a-kind, bumper stickers with several backgrounds that our graphic artist created. They were a lot of fun to make, and people loved them. Unfortunately, we were no longer able to find the blank sticky paper that we used to make them. Without the right supplies we had to stick this one in the ground.

Air Brush License Plates – Many of you have, no doubt, seen a really cool airbrushed license plate with a beautiful sunset or one declaring the car “Grandpa’s ride.” Our artists were able to create some beautiful plates, but the problem was, unlike fabric, these created a huge amount of over spray, and were very unhealthy to produce. Despite their popularity, this one needed to be buried in the toxic waste dump.

Hand Drawn Marker Tattoos – Long before airbrush and Henna tattoos, we offered hand drawn tattoos. One of the advantages of working with talented artists is that they can draw almost anything and having several of them being tattoo enthusiasts made this a great program. We were able to create some very realistic, colorful tattoos that people loved. The big issue was that we drew them on with Sharpie Markers, which was probably not the healthiest of options. We realized many years ago that this program could only be covered up with dirt.

Believe it or not there are many more program headstones in our graveyard, but hopefully you have enjoyed reading about a few of the residents in our program cemetery. We wish all of you a frightfully delicious and FUN Halloween.

About the Author

Growing up Ken Abrahams loved classic horror movies. Anything with Vincent Price, Lon Chaney Jr., or Bella Lugosi was all right by him. Two of the scarier more disturbing movies that he has seen are the original Night of the Living Dead and the 1930’s psychological thriller Freaks.

For more of his musings, check out additional blogs here.

To find out more about the company go to our website www.funent.com you can also go to this link to sign up for our newsletter which comes out about 6 times a year https://funent.com/subscribe-to-the-funny-pages/.  Our newsletter will tell you more about the company and the products and services we offer as well as some games, things to do and the occasional cooking tip.