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Congrats Graduates!

June 6th, 2022 by Kenneth Abrahams

During my Commencement, many years ago, one of the speakers reminded us that this would be the last time that we would be together as a class. At the time, that didn’t really seem like a big deal. Of course, I would stay in touch with a ton of these people that had meant so much to me for four years. That day, as we slowly left the field to celebrate with family and friends, there were a lot of hugs and handshakes and more than a few promises to keep in touch or a commitment to show up in 1987 at our five-year reunion. When I returned to campus for that reunion, a scant 20 to 25% of my classmates returned. Sadly, by that point we had even had a few members of our class pass away. For better or for worse, the speaker that day was correct, it would be the last time we were all together as a class. Honestly, it was the last time we would even be close to our full number. Over time, I have kept in touch with the people that I truly care about. There have been more than a few weddings that I have been invited to, with former classmates or those a year above or below me. Facebook has allowed me to track others, but it is clearly from a distance.

During the past few weeks, we have participated in several senior week and commencement activities. It was great to see the Class of 2022 celebrate in a fashion that was similar to what seniors got to experience before the pandemic. This year, I worked some of those events and it made me realize what the Classes of 2020 and of 2021 lost. When this blog started, I was focused on the Class of 2020 because there is not one school, that I know of, that was able to do traditional Commencement for either college or high school students. Several of them did virtual celebrations and did their best to make it special for the students and their families. Let’s face it, sitting with Mom and Dad on the coach in your living room is different from being there with your classmates. It is interesting that most of us find those celebrations tedious and boring, but it is an important right of passage.

Some schools had live commencements in the spring of 2021. Many of them were severely limited in scope and size. A number of schools opted to split their classes up by majors to restrict the number of people gathering at any one time. Other institutions gave students the choice of have a graduation with the full class and no guests or allow a limited number of guests and have the class broken up into a few separate ceremonies to allow for social distancing and to provide a safer environment for all in attendance. Regardless of the way that it was done, in 2020 and 2021 it was a less than ideal situation. Some schools held off graduation for these 2 classes until this spring. Yes, they had the best of intentions, but we know that not everyone will make it back to campus for the celebration, those classes never got that chance to be together and to celebrate one last time.

In talking to one of my clients about this topic, they pointed out that in some respects the class of 2021 had it even worse than the class of 2020 did. A number of senior class activities happen throughout the year and not just at the very end of the academic year. So, in 2020 they still got to have senior pub nights and 100 days until graduation parties, but the class of 2021 had few if any of those. Their academic career ended quietly and without the pomp and circumstance that so many others before them got to experience.

Working a number of these events in the spring of 2022 made me realize what those 2 classes had lost. It was great seeing parents meeting their children’s friends for the first time. You saw the incredible joy in the eyes of both the students and the parents. Often both parties would exclaim “I have heard so much about you.” Watching beaming grandparents walking through the campus as their graduate pointed out where they had lived or an academic building that they had spent a considerable amount of time in. Setting up as a baccalaureate Mass was being celebrated within earshot and hearing the praises and words of encouragement being bestowed upon the class of 2022. Attending senior week functions and watching students hugging one another as the realization swept over them that these moments with each other were rapidly dwindling. Seeing the mix of joy and tears as they held what may be their final pictures together in college, knowing that in less than 48 hours they would be packing the car and heading off on the next phase of their life’s journeys.

It was great to be a part of this but there was a touch of melancholy attached to it as well. Those scenes, those memories were not part of the fabric of the classes of 2020 and 2021. For the class of 2020, they were whisked off campus, many with almost no notice and no real chance to say a proper goodbye to fellow classmates. For the class of 2021, they meandered through a year where so many institutions were figuring the pandemic out and creating or changing social gathering policies, almost daily.

Despite what they went through and what they didn’t have in terms of a celebration, the Classes of 2020, 2021, and 2022 should be proud of what they accomplished. As Elle Woods in Legally Blonde said “We made it.” Yes, you did, you made it! Perhaps missing some of those celebrations at the end of your tenure will encourage you to attend your reunions and homecomings in future years. Congratulations all of you that have graduated in the last 3 years. You have persevered in some of the most difficult and trying times any of us have seen.

About the author:

Ken Abrahams is a 1982 graduate of Connecticut College. He has a bachelor’s degree in sociology or as the father of a friend of his puts it the study of the painfully obvious.

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