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A lot still needs to change when it comes to mental health

March 15th, 2022 by Kenneth Abrahams

For years now, there has been a narrative in play that the stigma of mental health issues is becoming a thing of the past. Movie stars, world class athletes, musicians, politicians, and a whole host of other A-list celebrities have gone public with their struggles to remove that stigma and provide a more open path for people to seek help. Yet, in less than a year, 4 students at Worcester Polytechnic Institute apparently took their own lives and they are far from the only ones in that age group that decided to take that drastic step. Perhaps we are more open to talking about and dealing with the subject than before, but it is a big stretch to say there is no stigma attached to it anymore, especially if you’re the one suffering and afraid to reach out for help.

What right do I have to address this topic, you may ask? After all, I do not possess a medical degree of any kind. In college I neither majored in nor have I ever taken a psychology course. I have never been diagnosed or treated for any mental health issues. My only experience is working around college students all the time. Listening to their stories and, at times, hearing the pain in their voices and seeing the sadness in their eyes. Things like the Globe article on the suicides at WPI seemed like a punch in the stomach because I know so many young people on campuses across the country. How could 4 people with so much ahead of them take their own lives? I was deeply saddened by that article and decided to write this blog because people need to know that you don’t have to be an expert on the subject to talk about it, offer to assist others in getting the help they need if they reach out to you, or seek help yourself. Many of us, myself included, have been touched by mental illness and suicide in some way or another.

Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s there was nothing like Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat that, when used maliciously, allow people to judge your life in a sometimes very cruel manner while safely behind a computer screen with little to no consequences. Back then, we knew who the bullies were and either ignored them or took care of it ourselves or with the help of friends. You could say that was playground justice, but nobody was able to post things online that could damage a person for years to come. Being a kid today must be infinitely more difficult than it was back then. I can honestly say that I had no classmates ever commit suicide. I’m sure that there were people I grew up with that struggled, but it seems far less than today. We used terms like crazy and insane as parts of our regular vocabulary but rarely about people. That test was crazy, or I put an insane amount of time in on that paper, nobody ever gave it a second thought.

As we move through the educational system and life, the pressures grow even greater. Although, back when I was applying to colleges there was certainly a group of students that shot for and got into top tier institutions, it seems like the pressure today to go to “the right school” is growing. Younger and younger kids are encouraged to take the “right” classes and participate in extra curricular activities that will make them more attractive to college recruiters. When in college, many are looking for those desirable internships almost from day 1, fearful that without it they will not get into the company that they want. We, as a society, are becoming more obsessed with money, status, and power under the guise of wanting our children to be more successful in life than we are, but the pressure of that has a cost. Colleges are now often asking for learning outcomes from social events. Learning outcomes? Are you kidding me? How about people simply enjoying one another’s company, de-stressing, and learning how to interact socially with one another.

Mental Health was a big issue before the pandemic, and it has gotten exponentially worse since. A number of college students started their academic journey in 2020 in isolation, as schools tried to figure out the best way to keep their campuses and their communities safe. Many students were put in single rooms and were kept isolated for the first 2 weeks on campus. Imagine arriving on campus, not knowing another soul, and spending your first 2 weeks alone in a small room where your only interaction was through a computer screen on Zoom or other platforms. That had to be stressful for even the most resilient. It is hard to fault the academic institutions, in the Fall of 2020 there was no vaccine, and they were trying to find a way to provide a somewhat “normal “and robust on campus experience. Pundits as well as parents complained that it was just a money grab for these schools. Yes, they needed the money to survive, but I truly believe that they were trying to do what was right for all concerned.

College students are not the only ones that have suffered, plenty of adults have as well. In the early stages of COVID, we were told that if things shut down for 2 weeks we would “flatten the curve” and things would open up again. Weeks became months and before we knew it 2 years had passed. During those 2 years, a number of businesses closed, some for a few months, others permanently. Jobs that people had gone to for years simply vanished. For a number of individuals, it may have been an opportunity to pursue a different career path, to explore a long burning passion in a different industry or field, while for others it threw them into a great panic. They were terrified as to how they would pay their bills and would there be a company or a job to return to. Having a 30 second commute from the bedroom to the office wearing a nice shirt with sweatpants was a welcome change for some but for others working from home, isolated or alone with your significant other 24/7, was frightening. All those changes coupled with a significant amount of uncertainty was, to say the least, for some, unsettling while for others it sent them into despair or even depression. To make matters worse, help was harder to find, support systems that people had relied on or needed were not available. Even as we pull our way out of this, many among us are still struggling.

I think one of the reasons more people aren’t talking about mental health issues is because we don’t want to insert ourselves into people’s private lives. Most people respect one another and their right to privacy. So, how do you know when someone is just having a bad day or when someone is in a serious crisis?  Is it really any of our business? Bottom line is no, it really isn’t and if someone doesn’t want to talk about what’s bothering them, we must respect that. But, letting someone know that you are there for them isn’t a bad thing. I also think that with that offer comes a larger responsibility of privacy and not repeating what someone might confide in you. The world doesn’t need more dime store psychologist, sometimes they just need somebody to listen. If what you hear concerns you, don’t be afraid to encourage the person to talk to someone else, perhaps a professional.

Normally, I am happy to provide in depth advice on topics that I raise, but this is not an area that I feel comfortable doing that. There are resources out there, almost every state has a Department of Mental Health or something similar, here is the link to that part of the Mass.gov website https://www.mass.gov/orgs/massachusetts-department-of-mental-health. There are also groups like the Samaritans who can also help https://www.samaritans.org/. What we can all do is provide support and not judge those that are going through these struggles. Over the past 2 plus years, I have read and learned more about this topic than I ever had before, and it is my hope that others will do the same.

About the author:

Ken Abrahams was born in the 1960’s and spent his first 14 years in the town of South Bend Indiana. After his parents got divorced, he went through a very angry time. A time that neither he nor his family talk about much today. Luckily, with the help of time, good friends, and a supportive family he was able to get through that tough time in his life.

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