Blog

You Get More with Honey Than Vinegar

August 15th, 2022 by Kenneth Abrahams

During the beginning stages of COVID, there seemed to be a shift in people’s attitudes. Prior to the start of the pandemic, many seemed to care only for themselves or their immediate circle of family and friends. As the Coronavirus took hold, we saw some incredible stories of people helping one another. Our first responders doing parades down streets to celebrate birthdays with sirens and lights flashing and people lining the streets with signs and banners thanking health care workers for their dedication. Colleges and universities devoid of students and hotels with no guests offered housing to health care workers so they didn’t go home and infect their families and, in some cases, shortening their commutes. Neighbors were checking on neighbors to make sure that they were okay and had food, often offering to shop for those that were older or had medical conditions that COVID may impact. Those that tested positive quarantined to not infect others. It was, in a word, nice.

Where have those people gone? We have reverted to what we were like in 2019. Is it COVID fatigue or are we simply showing our true colors? During the last 6 months, I have heard stories of several people that knowingly went to events, like weddings, either with COVID or COVID like symptoms and didn’t tell people. In some of those cases, they didn’t even bother to mask. Yes, others did, in fact, get sick. There are still people that are fearful of this virus, I am one of them. I still wear a mask in stores, at events, and on planes. If we are being honest, I am not even as careful as I should be. I also still test frequently, just to be on the safe side.

It isn’t just people’s attitude about the virus that has me concerned; it is how we are once again treating each other. We arrived at the airport several hours before our flight to Aruba recently. JetBlue has been our airline of choice for this destination, as well as others. When we walked into the terminal it was unlike any time I had ever flown before. To say it was chaotic would be a gross understatement. There were people everywhere and it looked like a disorganized mess. However, the airline had a number of people directing traffic and providing information. Within about a minute of our arrival, we were told to check in at the kiosk and if we had bags to check, print the bag tag and then get in this incredibly long line to drop the bag off. Even with the airline providing people to direct traffic, suggesting to families that they split up and have some members get in the bag drop line while others checked in, people still got nasty. One traveler remarked to a Jet Blue employee that they needed to hire more staff and open more bag drop lanes. Gee, why didn’t the airline think of that? Perhaps it is because there is a nationwide help shortage.

It would be easy to continue to provide examples of bad, rude behavior one right after another. Go to a store, any store, often you will see impatient, cranky, rude, and nasty people but that doesn’t seem to be productive, so perhaps let’s look at some solutions or strategies to help when you or others get frustrated.

1. Identify what the problem is and decide a positive course of action. For example, you are in a restaurant and the service is very slow. First, is that the norm for that establishment? Some locations want people to have a relaxed dining experience and are in no rush to turn the table. Perhaps they are short staffed, like so many other places. Instead of getting angry, try a calm conversation with your server that may alleviate the stress. Let’s face it, sometimes you are just not going to get great service. Is it really the end of the world? Often the problem is out of the control of the person you are dealing with. It is not the fault of the staff at JetBlue that the airline can’t hire more people, or they are stretched too thin. Try and give some of those folks a break.
2. Be part of the solution not the problem. Often, we can help destress a situation. If you are at a grocery store perhaps we can assist by bagging our own groceries. Understand that restaurants may be slow, so allow extra time. If you like to go to dinner before a movie and you used to arrive for dinner 75 minutes before the movie started, try 90 minutes or 2 hours. More and more people are traveling these days and most of the airlines are struggling to keep up with that. Get to the airport early to avoid making yourself crazy or missing your flight.
3. Kindness is free. It costs nothing to be nice to people. A thank you here or a positive comment there is almost always appreciated. Often the person that you are frustrated with is doing the best they can and day after day they are dealing with unhappy customers. You would be surprised how much a little bit of kindness means.
4. Count to 10 before responding. Sometimes that little break is enough to stop us from saying something stupid. Remember, you can only control your actions and reactions not those of others. If you take a negative tack or tone, others are likely to respond in kind. However, if the tenor and tone is positive, that to can be infectious too.
5. During the height of COVID, I grew to hate the phrase “we are all in this together” but now I am beginning to embrace it a bit more. It is not the pandemic that we are all in together, it is life. We are all part of a wide range of communities. Some are work communities, others are more personal, and some are in fact geographic, but they are the places and people that we connect and interact with. It is always better to make those interactions positive.

For those that have followed this blog or know me personally, you know that Aruba is a special place for me and my family. We stay at the same resort and have gotten to know several the folks that work there. One gentleman who drives one of the shuttles on the property always has a smile on his face and is well known for his bird whistles. Most of the staff and guests simply call him Birdy. We see him around the property all the time, but other than bringing our luggage to the room or taking it to checkout at the end of our stay, we don’t take the shuttle. This time, Birdy helped us load our luggage into our room. On the journey to and from our room, everyone he passed he said “I love you” to. It is another of his trademarks. I asked him if he truly loved everybody and his response was, “yes.” He went on to say, “I have no problems with people, if they have an issue with or don’t like me, that is their problem, not mine.” Wouldn’t the world be a better place if more of us felt that way?

About the Author:

Full disclosure, Ken Abrahams is not like Birdy he can be cranky and on more than a few occasions he has lost his temper both in public and in private. He is, as the saying goes, a work in progress. For more of his thoughts and writings, check out some of his other blogs.

To find out more about the company go to our website www.funent.com you can also go to this link to sign up for our newsletter which comes out about 6 times a year https://funent.com/subscribe-to-the-funny-pages/.  Our newsletter will tell you more about the company and the products and services we offer as well as some games, things to do and the occasional cooking tip.